Do not take the blue pill…
Andreas Krieger claims that steroids killed Heidi.
In 1979, 13 year old Heidi Krieger took up a place at a specialist sports school in East Berlin. She was put into a training program and onto a regime of bright blue pills and she was told they were vitamin pills.
Almost immediately, her body began to change. Her muscles expanded and her face, nose and hands started to enlarge. Her mood, too, went haywire. One moment she was afflicted with depression, then, in an instant, she would be overwhelmed with feelings of aggression.
All concerns were dismissed and excuses offered, and under the regime at the time the athletes kept quiet and took the pills.
At the heart of the story were those bright blue pills. Krieger discovered that they were not vitamin tablets but androgenic-anabolic steroids called Oral-Turinabol, powerful prescription drugs that built muscle and induced male sexual characteristics.
Ultimately Heidi underwent surgery and became Andreas. Now Andreas goes on to say:
“We did not question the pills because in GDR times you were expected to trust your coaches,” Krieger says. “Nobody thought, ‘Is this dangerous for me?’ The coaches said the pills were important to keep us fit and healthy. I did not even consider the possibility that they might be harmful. We were doing incredibly tough power training, so I thought that was the reason I was growing more muscles and strength.”
and
Although Krieger’s unease over his sexual identity pre-dated the doping programme, he says that the androgenic abuse left him with little choice but to have a sex-change operation. “I had no sympathy with my body, it had changed beyond all recognition,” he says. “It was as though they had killed Heidi. Becoming Andreas was the next logical step.”
So, would he have gone through the surgery and changed anyway? Or was it all the steroids? That is now becoming a matter for the courts as Andreas and other East German Athletes seek justice.
I’m deep in thought over the whole trans thing at the moment. I hesitate to call it an issue even, because for me it’s not. You are who you are, regardless of gender determined by chromosomes, or surgery, or anatomy. I don’t know any trans-gender people and I know I’m coming at this from a perspective of comfort in my own body and a complete lack of understanding. Same with race politics. I am a white european, a white english woman and I live in a country where I am priviledged to be able to speak out without fear of retribution. I’m not likely to get the police at my door for writing this blog!
But I’m struggling with various ideas in amongst it all. If a woman (born female with female anatomy and female chromosomes) needs help - I’m thinking of domestic violence, rape, that sort of help - then she needs to feel very very safe and that often means woman only space for her - and rightly so. But what if she’s female now but genetically male? Should she be denied that help just for her DNA? I say no, she is just as deserving of the resources as any other woman - but - and this is where I’m struggling - I can see where her presence could make a woman-born-woman (cis is the term I think?) feel very uncomfortable and unsafe. So I can get why woman born woman space is needed. But I can also see where the equivalent space is potentially needed for women born male (is that trans-women? someone please do tell me the right terms here?)
I’ve digressed from Heidi/Andreas somewhat, but reading that article got me thinking. Bear with me while I work this out - please do come and challenge my thinking and reasoning, I value input and debate but I will need to ask many many questions while I form my own opinions here.
More as I ponder more…..
I absolutely agree that recovery services should be available for transwomen who have experienced rape and/or domestic violence - but not at the expense of those assigned female at birth (I won’t use the term “cis” - it’s just too silly). It strikes me that transwomen are more than capable of organising their own services in sensitive recognition of the fact that, having been men, their presence in such services for FAB women can negate the safety and hinder the recovery of other users. There are also the cultural and religious factors to consider and these may preclude some FAB women accessing services if transwomen use them.
The services only exist because FAB women set them up in the first place and many - particularly rape crisis centres - are wholly staffed by volunteers. The refuge network wouldn’t survive either without the voluntary contribution of time and skills made by FAB women. I’m not saying transwomen wouldn’t volunteer if they could (I’m certain they would) but the same thing applies - FAB women need to feel safe in order to be able to recover - so, if transwomen feel strongly enough about the provision of services for them they could always do what FAB women have done: start their own.
Incidentally, on the terminology question; if someone is male they can’t become female - that’s biological sex and doesn’t change. It’s the man/woman identifier - you know, the gender identification thing - that’s fluid. Hence FAB (female at birth) for clarity.
Comment by witchy — August 14, 2008 @ 10:00 pm
Thanks Witchy. I like FAB, thanks.
Can I make a HUGE assumption here and say that if transwomen asked the FAB women for help and guidance in setting up support services for themselves that would be given?
I had an interesting conversation with a friend about this today (sitting in the garden with lots and lots of tea) and we/I think there is a scale going from If the person who serves you at the checkout in a shop is a transperson it makes no difference, if they’re your friend, relative, next door neighbour, bus driver - a whole heap of life - makes no difference because it’s the PERSON part that matters.
BUT. When it comes to anyone who has suffered abuse and is in need of help then they need to feel safe and able to seek that help and THAT is where a necessary division of people has to happen. Primarily (because this is a feminist blog and I am writing from a more and more radical feminist perspective) this means DV/Rape survivor support for FAB women, provided by FAB women.
In the end everyone we know is a person, an individual - regardless of, well, anything really.
Comment by SharkBait — August 14, 2008 @ 10:16 pm
Yup, your assumption regarding the provision of help and guidance is spot on. I don’t know of any recovery service for women that wouldn’t recognise and have sympathy for transwomen who experience similar abuse, treat it seriously and offer all the help and support they could to get appropriate services up and running.
And it’s interesting because there are specific exclusions in the Sex Discrimination Act that protect delivery of other same sex services - sex, not gender. Take personal care, for example: women who are unable to wash themselves, say, or attend to their personal hygene in any way have the option to choose the sex (not gender) of the person who provides their personal care. These things are important.
Comment by witchy — August 16, 2008 @ 7:23 pm
Re the provision of support and guidance - I read somewhere that it might prove difficult for transwomen to be able to provide acceptable coverage for themselves because of their low numbers (I think someone said 2% of women are or consider themselves to be trans?) So, what if trans women came to the FAB women’s support services and asked - can we tap into this network but sensitively, there are just not enough of us to make it work on our own - I’m guessing that could work too if handled the right way?
but you know, there has to be a line somewhere between male and female/man and woman in those situations because the one is harmed by the other and when escaping that harm needs to be away from the harmer or anyone who may remind her of him.
Agreed - certain things are important in terms of sex and/or gender and every person in that position should be able to choose the sex of the person assisting them - Assuming no power play or harm was done in the process. (I have a nasty stereotype in my mind there of an old incontinent bloke demanding a young female to attend to his needs, yuck.)
Comment by SharkBait — August 16, 2008 @ 7:36 pm
Well, Jewish women have set up their own refuges, Irish women, BME women, Aisan women too. Turkish women have set up their own helpline. There’s a long list of minority women who have started their own support services so I see no earthly reason why transwomen can’t do the same. And, yes, they’d become part of the network as a specialist service just like the rest. It’s no big deal, really.
I think the old incontinent bloke demading a young female to attend to his personal care would be viewed with extreme suspicion!
Comment by witchy — August 16, 2008 @ 9:30 pm
Oh hell I’d hope so….
Umm, what’s BME?
Comment by SharkBait — August 16, 2008 @ 9:33 pm
Black Minority Ethnic
Comment by witchy — August 17, 2008 @ 7:10 pm
Ah, I’d just got my head to remember Women of Colour, thanks. I still say that a person’s name is the only label I need.
Comment by SharkBait — August 17, 2008 @ 7:13 pm