Closed. The boat sank, the sharks won.

19 year old Chris Brown pleaded guilty to a single count of assault on his former girlfriend and was sentenced to 6 months community labour, with 5 years probation during which time he will have to attend courses on Domestic Violence.

Is that enough for a first offence? Or is it a slapped wrist for a young man who will go on to do it again?

Brown was originally facing a jail term of up to 4 years but in a statement outside the court his lawyer said that

"He embraces this as a chance to get the message out that domestic violence will not be tolerated. He wants to get his life back on track."

Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Patricia Schnegg told him:

"I think it’s commendable that you took responsibility for your conduct, sir."

He made the right noises and got away with less punishment. Does it make any difference that Brown is This Chris Brown? And that the former girlfriend is Rihanna? I’m not sure, but I don’t think it should. On the one hand the celebrity of a young R&B singer standing up and speaking out against domestic violence could have a HUGE impact, but he’s not suggested he do that has he?

But you know what bothers me more? 

After Brown left the courtroom, Rihanna entered and was addressed by Judge Schnegg who explained to the Barbados-born singer that she had issued a stay-away order.

The singer had not been seeking such an order, but the judge imposed one anyway.

The order requires that Brown and Rihanna stay at least 50 yards (45m) from each other, except at entertainment industry events when the distance is reduced to 10 yards (9m).

The judge also told Rihanna it is not a one-way order - and that she, too, should not get any closer to Brown than the order allows.

Rihanna didn’t seek a Stay Away order but one was imposed anyway? And that last bit "it is not a one way order" just implies that Rihanna is just as wrong as he is and just as guilty. Well, I suppose we don’t know all the details of this particular case but how many times do you hear "she asked for it" or "she provoked me"? How many? And how many times is that allowed as a good reason for violence?

Isn’t it time someone called "Cut!"

Isn’t it time someone said "Stop!"

Warning, the link contains images of extreme violence and may be triggering. 

"Wait, this isn’t in the script, I didn’t agree to this."

Two women in the UK die every week as a direct result of domestic violence, are killed by a partner or ex-partner.  It wasn’t in their "script" either and no-one called cut, the violence was real, the injuries were real, the pain was real, and then they died.

If there’s something you can do, then do it. Embrace your women friends and tell them you care, find your local contact for Women’s Aid and see if you can help. Do something, make it stop. Be the person who calls "Cut!"

We mustered and we waited.

 

It took ages to get going but while we waited the numbers and noise just grew and grew.

We were about in the middle and it was HUGE!

There were rather a lot of women, marching, singing, shouting and generally being very very obvious through central London, which we brought to a complete standstill and we clearly made for excellent pictures….

We blocked roads and brought everything to a complete standstill for hours.

 

The roads were closed.

 

We took up loads of police time!

 

Several days later we reached the rally… Well it felt like several days, it was a couple of hours of stop start walking, shouting and banner waving and I still hurt!

 

But you know what? I reckon I’ll be there again next time, possibly sooner if I can at other marches and rallies. 

This blog post has been brought to you by SharkBait and HUGE thanks are owed to fellow bloggers Witchy Woo; RMott and Stormy along with the other fantastic women I met, bumped into, hugged and was deafened by.

The almost equal gender balance of AMs in the Welsh assembly has transformed how politics in Wales is conducted, according to a new report.

The study showed there were more female voices at the assembly than at Westminster and in many Welsh councils.

Political debates were more consensual than adversarial as a result and had ‘non-traditional’ topics on the agenda such as domestic violence.

Political debates are LESS ADVERSARIAL! Perhaps Westminster could learn from this? 

From here

 

More than 100 local councils across the UK are being threatened with legal action for failing to provide specialist support for victims of sexual violence but the Equality and Human Rights Commission, who are bringing the action, have been called "irresponsible" by the LGA (Local Government Association)

Chair of the Equality Commission, Trevor Phillips says,

"In many parts of the country services for women who have experienced violence are chronically under-funded or simply do not exist.

"Women shouldn’t be subjected to this postcode lottery… for those councils who continue to ignore the dire need to shore up services and plug the gaps we have a stark reminder: the commission is ready and willing to use its enforcement powers."

Every year in Britain, three million women will become victims of rape or another form of sexual violence and the support for them has to be specialist and immediately available for those women to stand any chance of recovery. But the funding for and provision of suitable support services, such as Rape Crisis centres, is woefully inadequate and shockingly patchy. 

Research indicates that the best levels of provision per head is to be found in Bradford, while the lowest level is across the south east of England. Glasgow has the best provision found in the whole if Britain, and that is attributed to the fact that Glasgow officials have made Women’s safety a top priority. 

Where do you live?

Making A Difference that is…. I may well be certifiable under patriarchal psychiatry but that’s a whole other thing…

 

That’s a double bed, covered in scarves, 32 of them in all colours, various designs and ALL donated to be gifted to Women in Refuge across the UK this Christmas. I’ve been coordinating this since August. 100 Women will be opening an anonymous gift and I hope we can bring a smile and some warmth to their lives.

Those are the 32 I’ve had sent here, I’ve wrapped them and will be arranging post/delivery in the next week or so. But so many women have jumped on board with this that between us we are gifting over 100 women in 7 Refuges - and the children in at least two of those locations too.

Today I’ve been asked, "So what shall we do for Easter then?" I’ll have to think of something that can be knitted or crocheted as the women helping out here are all crafty types and all knit or crochet, but not until after Christmas.

Two information centres which help victims of domestic violence are under threat because of a lack of funding, a charity has warned.

This is the centres at Colwyn and Aberconwy, but the location isn’t as important as the threat and the scale of this. 

Cheryl Dixon from Aberconwy’s Women’s Aid said the charity desperately needed more funds to pay an outreach worker to work with women and their children.

"The outreach worker is currently employed 10 hours a week, and that is not enough," Ms Dixon said.

Hang on, TEN hours? A week?  **speechless and spluttering in apoplectic rage**

"The refuge itself is paid for by the government, and that money is ring-fenced, although it does not go up with inflation,"

Why the hell not?  Inflation means costs go up, wage bills go up, utilities and services cost more, and this pot of cash isn’t linked to inflation???

Government reaction?

"Welsh Women’s Aid receives funding of over £1m per year from the domestic abuse budget."

Hey, Un-named Spokesman (yeah, man, not spokesperson…. *bangs head on desk*) You know something? £1 million won’t build us a big enough boat, it won’t really make enough of a difference. Funding rescue projects acknowledges there is a Domestic Violence problem and it does help a lot of women, but not everyone. But what is actually accomplished by even having a Domestic Abuse budget? Isn’t it saying that Domestic Violence is an accepted part of life but here’s a way to escape, maybe, if the funding supplies a space at the time you might need it.

Isn’t it just saying the water will keep on rising anyway and we can’t change it, but here are some sand bags? Is this not a "Take 2 aspirin and go away" approach to a serious issue?

Don’t get me wrong, the funding is needed and more than ever. But, perhaps a proper look at the root causes of domestic violence and the subjugation and dehumanisation of women is needed too? While we’re busy putting a little plaster on this gaping wound, we’re not making the changes desperately needed to stop the harm in the first place.

I’m back. Did you notice?

BBC NEWS | England | Tyne | Sex killer ‘could not be stopped’

A stalker who killed his ex-lover and then had sex with her corpse could not have been prevented from murdering her, an official report has found.

He stalked her, terrified her and finally beat her to death and he got 20 years?The sentence was life with a minimum of 20 years to serve. He was 22 when sentenced so he’ll be out in his early 40’s.

Diane Edwards was eventually granted an injunction against Summers after he began to threaten her. He ignored it.

Summers was then given a suspended sentence rather than jailed for flouting the order.

He removed his electronic tag to get round restrictions which were meant to stop him visiting her home. 

Why wasn’t he jailed? Why wasn’t she moved, rehomed, protected? 

"Many times he has appeared before magistrates and been charged with crimes against Diane, only to be allowed to walk free and continue his reign of terror towards her.

"Questions have to be asked as to why, despite the obvious and known danger this man was to Diane, he was not put behind bars."

Yet again, the systems in place fail to protect a women and she paid with her life.

Man charged with murder.

A 40-year-old man has been charged with murdering his partner, whose body was found following a fire at their home.

I’d be interested to see the post mortem report, I wonder if she died in the fire or whether she was dead before the fire started. 

Calais rapist may be Trafficker.

The man who raped a British-based Canadian student at an illegal migrants’ camp near Calais could be a "people trafficker", investigators say.

Interestingly they’ve released a photo-fit image but it’s not been published in that article, so who should we watch out for then? 

Grandfather claims he killed four year old Rosie by accident.

Police have been searching for two weeks for the body of Rose, the blue-eyed child who was last seen three months ago in the town.

Her name has become common currency on Israeli lips since Tuesday, when police revealed that Rose’s grandfather was suspected of her murder after he told them he killed the little girl accidentally and dumped her body in a suitcase in a river.

By Accident? And then dumped the body? Why?

Some of the sharks out there are bigger though; Karadzic is in the dock. 

The judge asked him to stand to hear the eleven charges against him. After a few seconds hesitation he did. But the judge didn’t get very far. He read out the charge of genocide. Mr Karadzic told him he would not enter a plea because of his attitude towards the court. The judge said that, in accordance with the rules, he would enter a plea of not guilty on his behalf.. So he never read the full charges, of indictment to murder, torture, rape and inhumane treatment.

Be careful where you swim today.

As some of you will know, I’m a writer. At least two of my main characters have been victims of partner abuse, one more so than the other. They are both fortunate because I have given them both the power to open a portal, a slice through the fabric of space into another world. They can escape using their own power.

But they both still needed help and support to take that step and leave, they both needed friends to help them deal with the aftermath. And still one never fully "recovered". Sam remains harmed and damaged by her experiences, right through into the beginning of the third book. (note to readers - only the first book, The Portal Between, is available so far but book two, The Portal Sundered, is due for release in time for Christmas and the third book will take some writing!)

However, these are fictional characters with magical powers. You and I don’t have that. We can’t open a magical pathway and walk away that easily. Neither does your sister, your friend, your mother, your daughter.

Lily and Sam can escape, walk away but the scars remain. They don’t leave it behind. The violent abuse leaves a deep mark and shapes who they are, as it does every woman who has been a victim of domestic violence.

In our reality it’s harder to run, to escape, in a way. Without magic a woman has to hope that someone will help her, that someone will open a door for her and help her escape. Some don’t make it.  Two women every week (in the UK) won’t ever make it unless you count death as an escape.

Women’s Aid are our Lily’s, they open the portals for women wanting to escape. But they’re under funded and can’t catch everyone. Refuge space is woefully underprovisioned and there’s not enough room for every woman who needs it, and that’s with helping around 1,000 women in the Uk every day. Yes, 1,000 EVERY day.

only one fifth of respondents said they would talk to someone about the abuse - and if they were to talk to someone about their experiences, friends followed by family, were the most trusted confidantes. (Refuge.org - Early Warning signs campaign.)

Friends. That’s us. We’re the friends or family. We can listen, we can inform and empower. I will, and I do, at every opportunity. But will you?